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FOOD MENU

BIT'O'POUTINES

For folks that just aren't that hungry, or are diet-conscious: Three french-fries, one cheese curd and a teaspoon of St-Hubert BBQ sauce. C'mon, Fatty- just try one. Maybe two?

Appetizers - Mostly Kiddie Chow

A picture of some French-fries. But not the ones on YOUR menu. When you open the Restaurant Menu you may possibly possibly change your mind. Hint-Look at the next table. See those fat kids? THIS is what they usually eat.

Buffalo Wings

Boneless or traditional -N.B.some "bones" may be wooden, but are harmless if swallowed. With your choice of sauces. Or, on Wednesdays, OUR choice.

$10.25

Loaded Potato Skins

Loaded with melted cheddar and crispy bacon. Note: Some skins may be left over from yesterday's baked potatoes, and may contain broken tooth fillings.

$11.00

Nachos Supreme

Home-style potato chips with melted cheese and bacon. The same crap you serve to your kids at home when you're too lazy to cook. Except THIS ONE costs $12.50. ... LOL!

$12.50

Fried Mozzarella

Crispy and golden on the outside, hot and gooey inside. i.e. mostly grease. Don't be fooled by the picture.

$15.00

Soups & Salads

The green stuff is fake. Unless it's summer and we can use some lawn clippings that the busboy kindly provided. Soups however are usually good. And, as befitting our "green" motif, mostly recyclable.

Creamy Tomato Soup

Vine-ripened pear tomatoes pureed with fresh cream. Very similar to Campbell's if you like this. But ours is $7.

$ 7.00

French Onion Soup

Crouton, Gruyere Cheese. May also contain onions.

$ 8.50

Marinated Steak Salad

Baby Arugula, Onions, Croutons, Blue Cheese. May also contain "tube steak".

$17.00

Shrimp Spinach Salad

Crumbled Goat Cheese, Apples, Cranberries. Has an unusual smell.

$16.00

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MAINS

Entrées

"Entrées"? After one of these gross morsels, you may wish for a quick sortie.

Fish-N-Chips

Guinness Beer Battered Cod, Tartar Sauce, Steak Fries. Oh yes- those poor cod have REALLY been battered!

$ 17.00

Shepherds Pie

Ground Beef, Peas, Carrots, Golden Brown Mashed Potatoes, and most leftovers from last night's dinners. NB: All cigarette butts have been carefully removed.

$ 16.85

Cedar Plank Salmon

Apricot-Garlic Sauce, Mashed Potatoes, French Beans. And a very fancy plank. The cedar plank is really the hi-light. The garlic sauce is $3 extra.

$ 19.00

NY Strip Steak 10 oz

Creekstone Black Angus, Marinated in Brandy & Brown Sugar. And served on a trendy stale bun. Know what "creekstone" is? Don't ask.

$ 25.00

Burgers & Sandwiches

No-name Beef burgers that only your fat teenage son should eat. But then, he usually eats these anyhow, right? Ever heard of the Las Vegas "Heart Attack Grill"? Ours are cheaper.

Portabella Burger

Fresh Mozzarella, Tomato, Roasted Red Pepper, Walmart Pesto. (WTF is PortaBella anyhow?)

$ 14.00

Our (in)famous Burger

Ground Beef Brisket, Toasted English Muffin, Tomato, Onion. Strictly speaking, the muffin is actually stale, not toasted.

$ 15.00

The Kahuna Burger

Pepperjerk Cheese, Bacon, Avocado, Stone Street Sauce... actually, that's an Avocado Stone that you get, with some "street sauce"

$ 15.00

The Rooster

Grilled Chicken,Guacamole, Bacon, BBQ Sauce. The rooster's name was Hank.

$ 15.00

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